A Mermaid's Tale about Perspectives

How you see things depends on where you stand

What is it?

Hi Friends,

What do you think this above image is? Stay tuned to find out.

We’re in a chapter culturally that I never dealt with growing up. It’s a chapter full of electronics, of e-communication, of social media. It’s a chapter of filters, of insisting there aren’t filters, of avatars, of next level AI.

It makes it hard to decipher what’s real and what’s not real. In fact, it makes it hard to define what “real” actually is. Even those who only see black and white still live in the gray. It’s just where we are. And as each human grapples with this gray in their own way, it makes relationships much more tricky for everyone, especially younger people in relationships.

As we are entering into Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) tomorrow and I will be going into high schools with the intention of equipping teens with tools to enter healthier relationships, I am contemplating One Love’s DVAM campaign: when things happen on your phone, they still count. They count a lot. It’s the world we live in. And on this new frontier, we’re faced with new red flags even when two people are in completely different places and not talking on the phone. It’s a whole new frontier for abuse.

As the whole world is texting, and often texting in the presence of real live people, this seems relevant to all of us. For me in my teens and twenties, communication took place in live phone calls or letters which gave me time to process. With texting, it’s all so immediate, and it is so damaging.

One thing I love about One Love’s videos like this one is they capture in 30 seconds a huge red flag. In both this and the next example, there is clear manipulation and lack of respect for boundaries. These are fairly overt examples, but these often start subtly.

And one more, because I feel like this one captures the mean girl dynamic REALLY well.

It’s often confusing finding yourself in an unhealthy relationship, especially one that begins with love bombing. Shame is so frequently wrapped up in the mix. It’s embarrassing, especially when it happens again and again. Talking to friends about it is not always helpful, so when that happens there are many confidential resources that can help you. For example, you can call a peer who is trained to help you unravel your feelings about what’s happening. That’s a really smart move, and here’s a number.

Just always remember this: no matter what anyone else thinks, you are a beautiful, unique, autonomous soul and nobody is the boss of you, whether by text or in real life. Your perspective counts. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, including yourself.

Oceans of Love,

xo Jamie

Where in the world is the mermaid? San Luis Obispo, CA

Before we talk about SLO, I wanted to tell you again why I am taking time to write regularly each week, even though it means missing out on something else. I love connecting with you, and I love it even more when it’s two ways. You leave a comment. You drop a surprise pledge (which costs you nothing so far and makes me feel very seen so thanks for that!), I write something that helps you and you text me. Or in the case of this week, I meet a reader live for the first time (Aloha, Kerry!), or share my story with another writer I have got to know on Substack. I love the interaction, the give and take. Going through this history with Sarah, gave me a perspective on many things, and if I wasn’t writing here I would have completely missed this opportunity.

Author Spotlight: Jamie Weil

Now, back to SLO. Back at one of our favorite rejuvenation spots, Sycamore Mineral Springs. Over Avo toast and waffles, we were reflecting on peace of this space. It’s a great transition place from Nor-Nor Cal to So Cal. It sits in the middle of a bird sanctuary. We have a mineral water hot tub refreshed daily on our balcony. The walk 10 steps down our stairs opens to the beautiful Bob Jones Trail where a 3 year old on a bike yelled today, “On your left!” We also saw a Golden with a baseball cap riding in a bike trailer, along with groves of gorgeous Live Oak and Sycamores. The best part, though, is the water. It’s magical. But don’t take my word for it.

Through Kai’s Eyes

I don’t usually get back seat passengers. But when Mom and Dad take Grandma out, Mom rides in the back with me. We have so much fun. I put my head on her lap. We take ussies. I really don’t understand why we don’t do this more often. I mean, when Dad’s driving, she could just always join me. Maybe she doesn’t know. Oh well. I’ll just keep looking forward to those nights out with Grandma. Yep. This is nice.

I don’t care if it’s hot out.

Mystical Mermaid Musings: Diving Deeper Into You

What’s your perspective?

I’m sure you’ve seen these before, where you see one color and your partner sees another. I thought this was interesting that Mike sent this to me when I was thinking about perspectives. I hadn’t mentioned it yet. It’s often hard to know where our biases lie, where we see things differently. As we have 37 days until a very historical election in a polarized nation, think about where your biases lie. If you can’t see them yourself (an inherent issue with biases), ask your family and friends. They will tell you.

What Stories?

Nobody Wants This

I knew I would like this when Kristin Bell started making the late night comedian circuit and talking about it. What I didn’t know was that we would binge almost the entire Season 1 with my mom last week.

With my penchant for Jewish men, and my lifelong role as a shiksa, I loved the accuracy of the Jewish culture references throughout this sitcom. Turns out, they hired a Rabbinical consultant which make the nuances that much funnier. They film it at Wilshire Boulevard, the temple of Mike’s youth albeit with a facelift. The setting is very close to Occidental College where I got my Masters’ in Teaching. The dialogue is hilarious. Bell and Adam Brody have great charisma. And it’s a fresh, unique sitcom that’s far smarter than it is anti-semitic for a change. When do we get Season 2?

This week’s Haiku

Inspired by The Bob Jones Trail, San Luis Obispo, CA today on our morning walk.

Shadow & Light, by J

Light splatters through leaves
Spilling patches down the path
Little light shadows

Okay remember that picture in the beginning? It’s a CHAIR! Turns out it’s not only from where you stand, but also, where you sit.

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Thank you for being here. I love to connect with you.

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